New Thing

Okay, it's been a while, but I'm back, AND I have posts, not some mother f*cking public service announcement begging for ideas. My creative fires are stoked, my literary engines are on, it's go-time baby! So let's get this second coming started! I'm doing a serial and it's called, (drumroll) please) duhduhduhduhdudhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh . . . . . . SIXTH DEGREE! (tentatively titled, in case any copyright infringement lawsuits come up ) Anyway, here's the first installment:

James Olwegenae paced the waiting room. My FUCKING sister, he thought angrily. Why the FUCK couldn't she get married and settle down and have some OTHER bastard have to go through this shit of waiting for her bastard child to get itself born. And why the HELL am I here? God knows I don't owe the slut nothin', especially after her FUCKING retard mutt trashed my place. Why the FUCK couldn't she get herself fucked by the wrong person an' die, or get the shit beat outta her, like happens to half the ho's out there? SHIT. God knows I got other things to do more important than waiting for my sister's baby to get born, so she can get it into the foster care system.
James' train of thought was interrupted by a scruffy-looking, bearded, white man in a light blue suit and a green and purple striped tie who shambled into the empty waiting room, took out a newspaper and sat down. James offered a polite "Hello," that was gruffly returned. James resumed his pacing and his thoughts.
The command came from nowhere. "Sit down." James stopped and looked around, but there was no one there but the bearded man and himself. He continued his pacing, thinking he had been mistaken.
"Sit down." This time, there was no mistaking the note of command in the voice. James stopped in his tracks. Then he sat.
The bearded man hrumphed and continued his reading.
At that moment, an orderly came out of the waiting room and stammered, "Mr. Ole-wedge-, I mean, Mr. Old-wejen-, no, sorry, Mr. -"
"Olwegenae," James supplied.
"Right. Mr. Ole-wej-in-eye, your nephew has been born. Would you like to come . . . in . . . and . . . see?" The orderly stopped and watched as James hefted his 6'6" frame out of the tiny waiting room chair.
"No thanks." James left the room.

Communication

OK, readers. Sorry about the long gap between posts. I have just been STRAPPED for ideas. So, to help keep the blog alive, if you have an idea for a blog, please send it to me. And don't, I repeat, DON'T start your own f*cking blog and blog about it yourself. Be generous and send ideas to ME!

Tears of Gaia

How do you feel about the Earth? Have you never really thought about it? Do you think that this global warming stuff is a load of bullsh*t? Do you think that people should stop using plastic bags and cars and oil and fossil fuels and if you don't plant at least one tree, you're a total a**hole, not worthy to be a part of Mother Earth? Well, I've watched Al Gore's An Inconvinient Truth. I believe that global warming is real. And I think that we, as the supposedly most advanced species on the planet, we need to do more for this planet, because it's our f*cking home, and even if we were going to leave it tomorrow, we should still clean it up and leave it better thane we left it. Our species has overpopulated this rock, dumped our sh*t into the lakes, rivers and oceans, taken its resources and f*cked up the air we breathe. We, homo sapiens have effectively signed our own death warrant, as well as the death warrant of every other creature on this planet. But we aren't dead yet. We can change our ways, get off the path we're headed down, and fix our mistakes. But we have to do it soon, before all the sh*t we've done turns our path into a one-way street, with no exits. So, un-f*ck this planet, before our bastard child of the apocalypse is born. Think about it.

The Future

When was the last time you walked down the street (or drove, or biked, I don't really f*cking care how you get around) and saw a kid (or anyone really, again, I don't give a sh*t) reading a book? Probably never, because reading while walking (or driving, etc.,) is really dumb and can get you killed. BUT how many times have you been going down the street and seen someone holding a Nintendo DS or a PSP or something like that? A lot right? Now, I don't have anything against video games; in fact, I own quite a few and I think that if they were used correctly, they could make the world a better place. However, big gaming companies don't see it my way. They look at previous attempts at educational games and see abject failures. All they care about is making a f*cking buck. (To be addressed in a future post) But if they injected educational, good messages instead of all this overdone sh*t like fighting games and racing games and rescue-the-princess games and RPGs and FPSs and all that other sh*t that all games seem to be now. There isn't an original idea to be seen. The graphics are better, stories are a little bit more complex, but it all boils down to the same, old, f*cking things. If this doesn't change, the future may turn out to be this bleak, depressing, Orwellian world where everyone is predjudiced against everyone else and people kill each other just to gain status. So petition Nintendo and Sony and Microsoft and Atari and everyone else: Make games for a different reason than to make a buck! What you do changes the world, so do good! Think about it.

Is there time?

People are always saying, "I don't have enough time!","I need more time!" or "Don't waste time!" But why are these people always in such a f*cking rush? Can't spare 1 second to say a simple "Hello." Or even, "Hi." A f*cking one syllable word! However, they always have time for what they want to do, even if there in a rush for something that they have to do. They make time. Has someone ever said to you, "I don't have time!" They may not have time for things we have to do and barely have time for things we want to do.No one ever makes time for sex or any other sh*t like that that they enjoy, but they still struggle to be on time for a meeting. No one realizes that even though we cut out things we like from our life in order to make more time, we replace them with other things and still have little time left over. We even cut out time needed for essentials, like sleep. I, myself, go to sleep often at 11:45 p.m. or later and wake up at 5:30 a.m. That's only 6 hours and 15 minutes for sleep! Humans need at least f*cking 8 hours of sleep a day in order to function properly! We need time for ourselves! When was the last time you did something special for you significant other, or if you have no significant other, when was the last time you went on a date? We need more time for us to be us! Human beings! This world we live in favors f*cking workaholics over normal people, so we work ourselves to death trying to prosper or merely not get left behind. Slow down! Take a deep breath! Relax! I'm not saying you should say, "To hell with this job! From now on, it's me-time!" No, no, not at all! Because doing that would lead to your utilities and all other things you pay bills on being cut off, you being unable to buy anything and it could possibly lead to suicide. But sometimes, you need to take a break, step back and look at your life, both what has already happened and the forseeable future. Ask yourself, "Is this what I'm doing with my sh*tty life?" You need to do what you want to do. Take a day off. Relax, because, for all you know, you could drop dead tomorrow morning and you last thoughts would be, "Am I ready for today's meeting?" instead of, "If I drop dead right now, I would have almost no regrets!" So don't worry too much about time. You may live for 80+ f*cking years, so you have time. So relax. Take a day. You have time. Think about it.

Deuteronomy

On a whim, I started to read the Bible today. I had just finished The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown and I thinking about the "Age of Pisces" coming to a close near the beginning with the new millenium and the "Age of Aquarius" beginning. Now, I don't need to explain what all of this is to you, you lazy bums. Go out and read the f*cking book or better yet, Wiki this sh*t. So, anyway, I read the Bible just so I could learn some more about the book and religion that so much sh*t has been thrown at. And while I was reading Deuteronomy, I realized that, according to what I know of this book, "...thou shalt not kill..." and all that, but later, in that same chapter, the punishment for doing anything is to get f*cking stoned to death. If you girls lie about being a virgin, "...the men of the city shall stone [you] with stones so that [you] die..." If you have a love affair, "...both the man that lay with the woman and the woman shall die..." . If you're part of another f*cking religion, "Then thou shalt bring forth that man or that woman, which have Stoned to death. Christianity has this grand, old, reputation for being the most f*cking tolerant religion there is. But in the Old Testament, they are intolerant of a lot of stuff, and always enact the strictest punishment. Think about it.

You, Puppet

Today I read Sylvia Browne's book, Secret Societies. And it started me thinking. Her book says that there are some secret societies out there, like SCAN, the Illuminati and Skull and Bones that are trying to control the world and make a f*cking New World Order. Now I wikied Browne and I'm not sure how much of her book I believe, but I have a friend who went to Syms, bought a tie, paid in cash, gave them absolutely NO information, and the next day, he's getting calls about discounts and all this other bullsh*t. We were talking about it and I think they took a picture of his face and got him that way. And by the way, you can't even go to the f*cking bathroom anymore without maybe having pictures taken of you, thanks to the Patriot Act. Come on! All you're going to do in there is take a sh*t. So, maybe Browne has something there with this whole NWO thing. Think about it.

Who has it Better?

Last night, I was thinking about the meaning of life. I continued to think about this in the shower this morning and I have continued to think about this subject today. I have come to the conclusion that cavemen had better lives than us. They didn't have to worry about their cholesterol or their weight or any of the dumba** sh*t that people today have to worry about. Their lives were so simple. All they had to do was hunt, eat, sh*t, reproduce, die. That's all they had to think about. If humans hadn't evolved to become human, then the world would be a better place. I mean, sure, they had a crappy life expectancy, but they didn't f*ck the world up with chemicals and other sh*t. They lived, made babies and died. If all people today did that instead of work and school and worrying about f*cking dumba** celebrities, we'd be happier. There wouldn't be depression or anything. That exists because of jealousy. If humans reverted back to what we were before cities, became more primitive, then we wouldn't have gotten this f*cked-up planet this f*cked-up. Think about it.