Bathroom Strutters

You ever been walking down a hallway and seen a guy strutting for no apparent reason? 10 to 1 that he just came out of the bathroom.

That's one of the weirdest things that I've ever seen: guys strutting their way out of the restroom. They're walking like they just bedded a supermodel or something. And you have to wonder why they do it. I mean, I don't do it. When I walk out of the bathroom and someone sees me, I always think the person who sees me is thinking, I know what you did in there! Hahaha! I mean, I'm just trying to get back to wherever I left to use the bathroom and this person is just STARING at me. Literally, I look over my shoulder and they have that wide eyed look of shock, like I just killed someone in front of them.

I just went to the bathroom, stop looking at me!

It's creepy as hell. But anyway, the guys who strut, I always try and guess what they're thinking. And it always ends up being something like this:

Ooh yeah, best bathroom trip ever! Hit the toilet! Yeah, fifth time this week! At this rate, I might get in the Guinness Book! At the very least, I deserve a medal! Ooh yeah! Then I washed my hands, yeah! Then I dried those suckers and opened the door! Not many people can do tha- hey, what are you showing off for? Grr.

Yeah. I know it's ridiculous, but you just came out of the bathroom. You're supposed to do one of two things in there. It's not an miracle, you didn't just slay some f*cking dragon, millions of people do it every second. What are you so damn proud about?

Idiot.