The Political Process

OK, first of all, does anyone really understand the electoral college? Wikipedia, one of my three main sources of information, did not simplify it for me, but instead, made it harder for me to understand.

I realize that in the times of our forefathers, however they voted, it was impractical to record who all of the colonists may have voted for, but in this age of technology, we should be able to count who may have voted for whom. Then, everyone's vote will really count. I mean, more than it does now, where everyone's votes are counted by district or whatever. I don't get it. Please, please, explain this dumb sh*t to me.

And before you say anything, I know about the popular vote. And that's what I'm saying, election winners and losers should be picked by the popular vote, as opposed to the thing that they have now, which I do not understand.

Concerning my Repeated Absences as well as the Candidacy of Barack Obama

Once again, I must apologize for my absence. I have been very busy this past month, what with moving, my family reunion and my job starting again. However, I know I've said it before but this time I will really try to blog regularly.

Now, I have been thinking about what I should blog about, and since I have already criticized the Bible for being out of touch and contradictory, I should write about the 2008 Presidential election.

Hmmm...

The Bible and John McCain have a lot in common. Is that by design or accident?

Anyway, John McCain is running against Barack Obama, as you should know unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past 19 months, and Barack's amazing lead, where everybody in America seemed to be for him has whittled down to him being a few points ahead by most estimates. However, the Democrats think that they can beat McCain by 50 or so electoral points. It's so nice that they can remain upbeat, despite their having lost the majority of the last few elections. However, this view of things fails to take into account 1 thing.

Most Americans have neighbors who would not vote for Barack Obama. "Yes, of course, we're progressive, we'll vote for him, we want to see an end to Republicans in the White House. It's just that, well, Mr. and Mrs. Jones over there, they might not want to. Why? Well, it's because, (and mind you, I'm only voicing their opinion, I'm 120% for him, raised funds and everything) it's because, well, I guess it might POSSIBLY have something to do with the fact that he's . . . black." This is of course followed by a nod, a wink and then both people chuckle at racist old Mr. and Mrs. Jones. How could they be racist? This is the 21st century, for heaven's sake!

But this isn't just one isolated incident. This kind of thing is happening everywhere. And guess what happens when everyone's neighbors go off and vote for the white guy? The black guy loses.

But don't think that I'm not for Barack Obama because I don't expect him to win. I'll vote for him, my whole family will! It's just that, well, my neighbors . . .

Ashamed

So here I am, on my computer every single day, for at least an hour, my blog is fourth on my list of startup tabs and every single day I log on my computer, look at my blog and say, "I'm going to post something. It's not like I have a lack of material to post. Oh no! I just read some of "Lies my Teacher Told Me" and in one chapter I found a whole lot of sh*t I could write about. Boomers! Remember this picture? And this one? Yeah, these were in there. So I could write about these, but I won't.


And so TODAY I open the tab and I say to myself, "Look, you've been NEGLECTING your blog for a week." But I don't post yet. I check out some of the blogs that I like and I see that THEY'VE been posting pretty frequently. So now I gotta live up to them in my mind and post some sh*t.

. . .



I am such a bad blogger.



HOWEVER, I am now back! I will f*cking post like crazy for as long as possible until I become otherwise engaged.

Why Going Organinc is Ultimately Bad for the Environment (Hint: Not Everyone Will Do It)

People tell me almost every single f*cking day how they either went green and organic and feel so much better and healthier and longer-livingish, or how I should go green and eat only organic sh*t because you need to offset your f*cking carbon footprint and live for the next seven generations. (In case you didn't catch that, that was a blatant product placement for Seventh Generation sprays and soaps and all their sh*t. They work really f*cking well and smell good.) Now I'm all for the next seven generations, but I could care less about eating organic sh*t and going green and all that sh*t and let me tell you why. (Just in case after this introduction you thought I was going to start talking about my non-existant pets)

First of all, it appears to me like the people that give the biggest sh*t about going green are rich, yuppie, white people. I'm not white so I have every right to say this. Those yuppie upper-middle class white folks are all like, "Oh Sharon, oh Maurice, let's go plant a f*cking garden with our money that we got by our politically correct scamming of those poor negroe hos. We say 'negroe' with an 'e' so it's all right. Then let's go turn on our fluorescent lightbulbs so we can read our recycled paper books by Al Gore in our environmentally friendly sitting room. Then we can go to Whole Foods and buy their really f*cking expensive produce and poultry but no beef because it sits in our stomach. Then lets go home and cook on our environmentally friendly stove in our kitchen. Then we'll go to sleep in our 100% recycled cotton bed that we got from Russia on our rowboat trip their. We went by rowboat to save gas!" How many people have the time, inclination and resources to live such a life? Certainly not most of the people in the world. Yeah, maybe some guy out there, like those rich Indian dudes and Bill Gates, but certainly not most of the people in the world. Not everybody has the resources to install pressurized air faucets to save water. (But if we could . . .)

So, anyway, because the richer people are not buying from PathMark and ShopRite and Costco and all those other places, those places are forced to drive their prices UP. Because of this, the regular folks have to drive farther and farther away to get a bargain so they can stay below budget. Because the distance they drive increases, they use more gas, forcing them to buy more, limiting the food portion of their budget, forcing them to really hunt for bargains. We all know gas is bad for the environment as well, that goes without saying. Oh yes, and because plants absorb carbon dioxide and replace it with oxygen, slowly reversing global warming, as Carlos Mencia said, "You people are eating the solution!!!" Oh, and I almost forgot. Where do bicycles come from? Most likely, your bike came from some coal smoke spewing factory in Malaysia or China, was tranported here by an ancient steamer, crossed the country by a diesel tractor trailer and took the longest way possible to get here. Suck on THAT, you environmentalist, "I'm so hot because I bike every-f*cking-where!!!" dicks!!!!!

BTW, I could put some sh*t about how hybrids hurt too, but I don't want to crush your spirits TOO badly. I want you to SQUIRM.

So, in summation, rich vegans and vegetarians are BAD for the f*cking environment. Just eat meat and drive cars like the rest of us, you F*CKING B*ST*RDS!!!

Badadadadah, I'm playin' it!

OK, I was surfing the internet one day and on a whim, I typed in "mcdonalds game." I clicked on this link and found this game. In it you play some sort of McDonald's demigod (Alert: If you see the words "game" and "god" in the same sentence, it does not mean that you will be able to throw random people around and end their lives). So I began to play it and it is really freaking HARD! I have not lasted 10 years on it yet. And I am now hopelessly addicted to it. Play at your own risk.